Well I suppose it had to happen eventually, my desire to return to managing this site after an awkwardly long hiatus became too great to ignore. I’ve been staring blankly into this screen and wondering what the fuck it was I was thinking 12 months ago, trying to make some sort of synaptic connection to every detail of this site, the podcast, the forum, all of it. As hard as I try though, I just cannot reconnect to that version of me. I guess I just let some personal experiences in the last year drain any interest I had in carrying things on, and then in typical wordpress and phpbb fashion, the minute you stop paying attention to your website an elite crew of script kiddies turns it into a pharmaceutical spam and malware playground. As soon as I had finished dealing with concerned emails from my hosting company about suspicious database entries and capacity issues I pretty much wanted nothing else to do with the site.
Of course, all of that is dumb right? It’s a self-made defeat and I can’t accept it any more. So firstly, to anyone reading this that was around when I started this thing up, I’m sorry for the false start. I’m here now, and this time, rather than just look away, again, I’m going to get the ball rolling again, albeit in a series of completely un-planned and probably chaotic baby steps. My first aim is to get a few posts down and ensure I still have a desire to communicate my thoughts and feelings in a verbal way. Then maybe I’ll start reintroducing parts of the site that are currently absent – a theme, a forum, podcast downloads, etc. God, even just writing it down like that is already making me chew nervously fast through this bowl of salty pretzels.
I’ve been playing a lot of video games the past 12 months, so there’s always going to be something to talk about, so stick around fellow player and I’ll be back with more words for you soon.